The most challenging part of writing group isn’t presenting my vulnerable self to the others when it is my turn to present words for critique and it isn’t analyzing the work of others. It isn’t getting there on time (although if I try to carpool with Lindsey, that is an issue) or remembering what the heck I am supposed to be bringing. The hardest part of writing group is separating what I know about the members from the writer, the voice, they portray on the page.
When I read a book or short story (or even long-form journalism) by some author I don’t know personally, I am able to read the words as they are. I form the story in my own mind without any preconceived ideas about the person who wrote it. The story is pure. The same is not true in writing group. I am friends with these women—I have been in their homes, met their significant others, had maybe one too many drinks with them. So, for example, when I read a fiction piece by Ashley, all I see in the main character is her so all of my suggestions, questions and criticism is based on what I know about her. But that doesn't lend well to GOOD suggestions, questions or criticism.
This is not just true for fiction pieces but it can also hinder my ability to really understand a non-fiction story for what it is meant to be. Is that joke in Haley’s piece hilarious just because I can imagine her delivering the line? Does Emily’s birth story make me smile just because I watched as she grew the baby inside of her? I don’t know. I don’t know how to step back and read as if I don’t know these people—because I do know them.
Ultimately, as a writing group, how do we remove ourselves enough to deliver constructive feedback as an audience rather than as friends? This, so far has been my biggest struggle.
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